Want to win something?

After reading my friend Sharon's blog I saw that 5 Minutes for Mom is giving away a 37" Flat-Panel LCD HDTV with help from Best Buy.

Are Nannies Really Necessary?

The other day I flicked on the TV, which is new to our home. Anyway, I was listening to some women interview a celebrity and they were "ooohing" and "ahhhing" the fact that he and his wife had no nanny for their 4 week-old baby. It was amazing to me that parenting, a very difficult yet rewarding vocation, is lifted up and praised when it is "fit in" to certain folks' lives, but questioned on other occasions when moms and dads actually have the audacity to stay home and form, mold, teach, instruct, love, and cuddle their kids. Hmmm. Double standards? I was having a conversation recently with my mom about preschool, and how one of the democratic presidential candidates, John Edwards, would like to lower the age for preschool entrance. That made me think: Where will both parents be? (At work); Where will kids be in between "preschool"? (Daycare or anywhere but with Mom and Dad); What is a parent's real objective for sending a child to preschool (Having taught preschool, I can say that what is most importantly established in those fundamental and critical early years are trust, self-awareness, interpersonal skills, all of which can be taught at home.) (I have yet to read it, but this looks like a good one: You're a Better Parent Than You Think.) After all of these thoughts, I came to the conclusion that many parents possibly do not want that time with their kids. They just may want to still keep a very independent schedule, apart from their own little children. In the end, is this really helping to create independent children? Now, who should be getting a pat on the back: parents that choose to make their children first, or parents that choose to squeeze their kids into their outside work schedule. Thoughts to ponder.

Time for Budding

As Maddy continues to teethe (she just got her 7th tooth a few days ago;it is her bottom molar, second from the back, and it broke the skin in the middle of the night), and as I continue to learn all about each tooth's approximate due date, I think back to the time when Maddy's little mouth endured many changes, which came on Holy Saturday night. After that experience, I wrote this short reflection a few days later:

Time for Rising and Budding

After having a baby and making the beautiful and dedicated decision to remain in our home so as to mold and teach our daughter, I get a taste on a daily basis of what motherhood is all about. It is a task that never ends. Motherhood is a job that lasts twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. It is a journey of happiness to watch Madeleine grow, change, and respond to our voices. It is a permanent call to potential pain—agonies as she falls, cries, and begins to make choices: leaving our home later in life to attend university or to marry, and then make a family of her own. “Welcome to life,” I tell myself. What would life be without pain? Life without growth.

Pain and growth: what are they? Gums splitting to make way for brand-new baby teeth; this is growth, this is change. Maddy’s teeth are coming through, and, oh, what pain they caused on Holy Saturday night—the eve of Christ’s resurrection. Madeleine was in such pain. Her fever was 100.6, and her tiny nose was stopped up like a canal, flooded, and ready to burst. Poor baby. She was most comforted by being close, breastfeeding, lying next to me. I was happiest that way too, just knowing that she was receiving some relief. Why was I in pain? My gums weren’t splitting, but my heart was, as I watched Maddy suffer.

What did Christ feel during his anguish? What were the emotions of sympathetic bystanders—those who loved him? Jesus knew not only that he would suffer, experience torment, and die, but that he would soon rise. His suffering was bitter. His agony was unimaginable. His resurrection was glorious. In order to rise, he had to suffer. It was excruciating to watch, though. It is horrendous to know that through my own actions, I contributed to his torture. I also know that it is by my good choices, my positive actions, and my selfless vocation as a mom— watching my baby’s pains and tending to her needs— which will give rise to my physical, emotional, and spiritual headway. This is similar to the beauty of Christ’s Resurrection.

As I laid in bed, with a warm little body next to me, clock ticking in the wee hours of Easter morn, how could I not thank God for the marvelous mystery of his own child’s resurrection, the everlasting reassurance that although there will be pain, sorrow and distress will never prevail. For a little while there may be growing pains, tooth aches, and nights with little sleep, but they will never last forever. The hope of a new day looms on the horizon. Why? Because Christ already made the ultimate sacrifice. Maddy will endure her gums cutting for the baby teeth to bud, but after that, the pain will lessen. The fundamental changes have taken place. When her permanent teeth come in, the preliminary pain will have been paid. So too has Christ paved the way for us. He has loosened the shackles that bound us to sin. We have a new opportunity to live a pure life, to share in his glorious resurrection.

Maddy’s tooth is ready to burst forth. Pop. Explode. One-by-one each tooth comes in. Sometimes with excruciating force; other times, they poke through at a slower pace. Each one, however, makes way for change. And what is change? Change is leaving one’s old lifestyle, one’s former ways—an old existence—for something, we hope, is better, holier, and more beautiful.

Madgey, You're Our Everything

I have deemed this my song for Maddy and we have danced to it quite a bit. You can listen to what Maddy and I are dancing to at our home and look at the lyrics below:

Everything

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Little Sponges

At such an early age, even in utero, babies are attracted to their parents' voices. They recognize tones, words, even stories told while they grow inside. Babies are sponges; they learn so fast and grow so quickly. To some people this may seem scary, to others, this is phenomenal. Some parents get worried about curbing their and their friends' language when their children are around. Why? I suppose that they do not want their kids to pick up bad habits, words, etc. To me, though, I see babies and kids as little catalysts that keep us on track. Instead of seeing babies as little patrol cops, I see them as little angels that help us on the straight path. If it's not good for them, it most likely isn't the best for us either (I am not talking about age-appropriate material: educational topics, hearing/seeing news material, which is sometimes violent, but just good vs. bad). The other day I was ending a conversation with someone on the phone, and I said the usual "B-bye." Lo(w) and behold, a little voice echoed below, "B-byyyyye." Maddy hears everything and mimics so much. She did it again this morning, but this time resounded my "Hi, Dad," to Caleb. If all of us are supposed to become like little children, who echo their parents' behaviors, who should we be following on a daily basis? Have we become like little children in echoing our Father's behavior?

Mimi Time

My Mom was out here this past week for Maddy's 1st birthday, and we had a very enjoyable time together. Some days filled with chilling, others setting up the apartment, ironing, organizing, doing laundry, but overall, just enjoying our time together. Maddy loved her time with Mimi as she played peek-a-boo and greeted Mimi in the mornings. She loved going into the room in the mornings to give Mimi a wake-up hello. I loved having Mom out here and realized once again that no matter how old one gets, having your Mom or Dad present eases worry, stress, and pain. I wasn't feeling good one day, and Mom was there to be "mom." I don't think one ever outgrows the feeling of comfort that a mom brings. Having both of my parents in my life makes me appreciative to God for allowing me to know them better, love them more, and take advantage of the moments I have with them. I hope that everyone who has a parent or parents is able to enjoy them or at least get to know them more and never let a moment go by without thanking them for giving you life. Thank you, Mom, for coming to visit. We love you.

July 17, 2007: Maddy's 1st Birthday

Happy Birthday, Beautiful Girl!

July 17, 2007One year has passed, and I thank God for the stage we are at, remember with joy the day you were born, and soak up every moment with you, hoping that I will never take for granted your life--a total gift to Daddy and me. We love you so, so much. You will have our constant prayers, love, support, and ears to listen. You are our treasure, our little princess, our snuggle bum.. Thank you for loving us back, for giving us the best, big squeezes, and "crunchy" kisses. You are our sweet pea. Maddy, we remember, like yesterday, the day you were born. Dad was retelling the story last night of your birth. I immediately thought of Dad's experience of going to grab lunch after your 1:25pm (Beijing time) birth. He grabbed some Chinese food, and there were a couple of girls at a salon trying to promote their shop and invite Dad to get a haircut. He wanted to yell from the top of his lungs that he didn't have time for that; he is a DAD; we just gave birth to a BABY! I remember hearing the doctor say, "You will have a baby on this next push. With that dose of encouragement, I felt like I could win an Olympic race, because I was determined to see you; you came right after that. I was so thrilled that you were in this world that I had forgotten that we had kept your boyishness or girlishness a secret, and then it clicked, and I said, "What did we have??" Dad said, "A girl!" You are that girlie, and we love you. Happy first birthday, little world traveler. You have done so much in your one year, and for some reason, I think there is a lot more to come. We are excited to take this journey with you.

"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last week I got to catch up with a good friend for a nice tall glass of iced tea. As hot as it was outside and as tasty as the tea was, the weather and beverage slipped my mind as I sat enveloped in conversation with my friend Jenn. It is strange when you have such a good friend who almost knows what you are going to say before you say it; that happened while we were talking. She said something and I must have been nodding with the look of "I know what you mean" on my face. She saw this and just said, "You know exactly what I mean, don't you?" It is awesome to have good friends. I have been blessed.

Saturday of Papa's Day Weekend

The Start of a Great Weekend

This weekend is Father's Day. Ours began on Thursday. On the fifth day of the this week, I handed Caleb a written agenda (all-tentative, of course) of our plans for the weekend. We are on a roll. This morning we woke up and went to 6:30am Mass at Sacred Heart for the feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. (We were very blessed to go to Mass yesterday and make a family consecration to the Sacred Heart on His feast yesterday). So far, this weekend has been delightful. Caleb, Maddy, and I came home to enjoy a light breakfast of smoothies and coffee. Before we got to the breakfast part, though, Maddy needed a change, and so today she was able to start sporting her new onesie from Mimi, who bought this for Caleb's Father's Day. I brought Maddy out to the kitchen looking like this:
After Maddy went down for her morning nap we got to talk to family members and do more apartment searches and make additional connections with realtors. When Maddy woke up we enjoyed a walk to UH to enjoy a bit of frisbee. It was wonderful, and Maddy was a very good girl, who loved watching the frisbee go back and forth (mostly) between Mom and Dad...She only got nicked in the head once with our 175g, white, whirling frisbee. After that, we headed home for a delicious lunch of salad sandwiches on toasted wheat bread with melted cheddar and mozzarella cheese. Caleb and Maddy are now keeping with the Spanish theme of Maddy's onesie and taking a siesta together. Tomorrow we are off to Mass at St. Augustine's by the Sea for Mass, then to my favorite coffee shop in Honolulu, located next to what I call the most beautiful hotel. I fell in love with the cafe and hotel my first time in Honolulu. They are both delightful, and tomorrow we will admire them for the last time. Afterwards, we plan to take a dip in the ocean and check out the markets before heading home to pack up our last goods to be shipped. In the evening we will enjoy creamy chicken over brown rice with garlic and pepper green beans, and some berry cinnamon ice cream pie in a graham cracker crust for Caleb's special day. These are the plans; we better get going!

An Amazing Dad

Who said that guys can't multitask? Caleb has been doing that for...ever since I met him. If I sat down and wrote down everything that he accomplishes during the day, I would be neglecting all that I should do, because that's how much time it would take. Today Caleb defended his dissertation proposal; it was supported and given the OK by his committee members. He is on a clear path to the writing of his dissertation. Wow. If that was all that he did today I would sit back and say, "Phew, glad you made it through the day." (I'll still say that, but there is more that he did). He is so organized that he also managed to find time to design and print up individual tags for each of our bins that will be shipped out in the next week. He met with his advisor, printed color copies of his power point presentation for each of his committee members. He even sqeezed in some necessary shopping at ROSS in hopes of finding some new running shoes (no luck, though). He accompanied me to pick up a roll of film that finally got developed from my 35mm camera after a tw0-year hiatus, entombed in the camera. Caleb picked up the last of the plastic bins to store our goods for shipment. If that was not enough, he cleaned the dishes up after dinner and just put Maddy in bed. She was snuggling into him as we sat on the couch as a family to watch Mrs. Miniver. He will anything and everything for us and others. He will sacrifice his time or figuring out another time to schedule his activities so family time is uninterrupted. On this weekend of Father's Day, I want to tell you thank you, Caleb. I love you.

Any relation?

Take a look at the top teeth. Do you see any resemblance? Sister and British brother...maybe?

All Boxed-In

It has been quite a while since we last posted anything, due to packing. I suppose I could have just packed the computer and pulled it out when we arrive to our final destination (since I have not written a thing for a couple of weeks), but I'll try and keep us up-to-date in the happenings around here. About a week and a half ago we began the packing process and made a lot of progress. We had our inspector here and she thoroughly checks everything, unpacks, and unfolds things I guess to make sure that they were packed and folded correctly the first time. What has been the best discovery throughout our packing process is that Maddy is learning to walk, so she goes from bin to bin, sidestepping--like a new baby, two-step dance. She freestands. She makes us say, "Did you just see that!?" The other day she was freestanding, and it looked like she had been doing it for ages, because she was unaware of that fact that she was doing what she was doing, and we had to take a second look, because it looked so natural. Change. What is it? It seems to come on so gradually, and yet it is something that we oftentimes pray for, and then fight or regret when it happens. Life is all about change. If nothing ever changed in our day-to-day life, that is, if we never bettered ourselves, appreciated the alterations, would we take everything for granted and never enjoy the now? I was thinking about this the other day when I was hanging a load of laundry out beneath the brilliant rays of sunshine here in Honolulu. I took in a breath of the whirling winds and glanced and the gorgeous greenery and steroid-sized leaves that dangle and dance all around us. If we were not moving, would I appreciate this island the way that I am right now? Maybe not, because I would be staying here and I would probably become so accustomed to the loveliness around me that I possibly would never think that it could be taken away. The same with Maddy: if change never occured, I would most likely never grasp on to and appreciate for that moment the little silly things she does as a 10 month-27-day-old baby, before our little 11month-old stares us in the eyes. Some people can see a move as a sad affair, an end. But, I rather see it as a chance to grow, to slough off the old and be bathed in the new--growth--while appreciating the past, looking forward to tomorrow, and making the most of today.

All the Animals in the Zoo are Jumping Up and Down for You!

We're Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo...

what about you, you, you? We're going to the zoo! Caleb was singing this little family song to Maddy before we went to the zoo yesterday. I'm sure she'll hear it many more times in her lifetime. We had a great time at the zoo, where we spent about 5 hours. We ate our packed lunch in the refreshment area before meandering about the beautiful, tropical-safari grounds of the Honolulu Zoo. Shortly after eating, Maddy was ready for her nap, so into the frontpack she went. She gets so excited when Caleb pulls it out, because she knows what is to come: time with Dad. A couple of exciting highlights: seeing a hyena very close-up and seeing a peacock spread its feathers completely... and block our path. We scurried around it and made it to where we wanted to go. What a beautiful bird. All in all, it was a great, long day with about a 10 mile walk to, through, and from the zoo. Ahh, the weekend has arrived.

Lions and Tigers and Nene, Oh My!

Lions and tigers and nene, oh my! We're off to see more animals today at the zoo. This time we are heading there with friends. Twice in one week's time! Usually we have ideas of things to do with these particular friends, but this time my friend suggested something: the zoo. Ha, what are the chances of going back a second time in a week? We love it, though. It is fun to be outside and mobile, and Maddy loves that aspect too. She also loves the people and animal-watching aspects of an excursion, so I am sure there will be lots more of that on her agenda. We will give you a run-down on today's events when we return today. Have a super weekend.

Tropical Fruit

Everyday when we head out for a walk there are bound to be a few mangoes on the ground. Today, on our way to 6:30am Mass at Sacred Heart, I felt like a gatherer, looking for mangoes and gathering. I now have a bowl-full of five. Mmm. I can't wait until they ripen and soon we will have some mango fruit to add to our smoothies. Coming back home I was looking around and just marveling at the fact that there are so many mango trees, noni fruits, and papaya trees around. Where in the world will we live again where we will see so many fruits side-by-side?

Minority Groups and Pride

Our Life and Current Affairs Commentary

The following thoughts bounce back and forth between our life and current affairs. A bit of hybrid reflection today. Memorial Day weekend has become a type of gay weekend. As a family we had a busy weekend. We spent much of our time in the city of Honolulu. While Honolulu isn't a particularly large city, it's still a city. It has a gay community and attracts tourists of every stripe. I had read a few articles online how the Memorial Day weekend was turning into a gay pride and get-together weekend. Sure enough, we witnessed many couples over the long weekend. I am curious why homosexuals chose to associate themselves with Memorial Day weekend. I don't know the answer but suspect it's just a great time to get away for a vacation and perhaps there is some push for the military to accept the gays.

Most of my life I have been in the majority. I am white male. Catholic. Blondish hair, green-blue eyes. Tall. Nothing special. I have blended very well in the US and in Italy. I stuck out a little bit while living in Mexico and quite a bit while living in China. So, to say the least, I have had very little experience being a minority. I can understand how minorities enjoy being with others like themselves. Expatriates typically enjoy hanging out with other expatriates. They can relate. They have a lot in common: language, nostalgia for the motherland, experiences, antipathy and discrimination, etc. Such behavior is evident among most minorities throughout the world. Many governments take it upon themselves to do away with such undesired segregation. This self-imposed segregation is universal and natural. People enjoy being with others who are similar to themselves. We can't help it! That's why in many old cities, there is the Italian section, the German section, the Jewish section, the gay section, the black section, etc. Minority groups, and just groups in general, tend to come together. I opine that demanding society to mix is abhorrent to nature. Combating discrimination is one thing; forcing society to live in fixed ratios, in the private and public sphere, is a waste of time and, ultimately, counterproductive.

Since the homosexual community is a minority group, I can understand their desire of togetherness. I still don't understand homosexuals' use of pride and celebration. Pride is defined as "a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority." Celebration can be defined as "a joyful diversion" or as "the performance of rituals" or as "a display." I suppose one can celebrate their cultural heritage. Irish Pride (St. Patrick's Day) or German Pride (Oktoberfest) are ways to celebrate one's roots. Yet, in today's multicultural America, it's hard to celebrate anything because it appears to infringe upon and offend everyone else. In a world of cultural relativism (multiculturalism), where cultures coexist merely on the horizontal plane and not the vertical, it's a sin for any one culture to trump over another. (I don't espouse such multiculturalism. I am arguing here only as the devil's advocate.) So, there are definitely ethnic/national pride and celebrations. There is reason to display such a culture to appreciate history, provided one attaches importance to history. In a sense, then, cultural celebrations are historical celebrations. Such celebrations commemorate important historical moments: national independence, births and deaths of famous individuals, economic landmarks, war and peace. These are meaningful events to remember, events that shape society around us. Celebrations and commemorative days have become as superfluous as the rubber, multicolored awareness bracelets. There are too many to be aware of! When I stop to think about it I realize that it's possible to celebrate everything and anything. Where does one stop? Someone ought to draw the line and have good reasons for the decision. I don't believe that we should be celebrating the achievements of minority groups without presenting the opposite side of the coin, the majority group. It might seem blase, but I feel that the majority can very easily become the down-trodden segment of society. As it is, our legal system and political system champion minority groups and rarely grant standing to majority causes. As a male, I feel sidelined by radical feminist celebrations. As a Caucasian, I feel sidelined by other cultural and national celebrations. As a heterosexual, I feel sidelined by homosexual celebrations. Should I feel pride in being a male? Should I feel pride in being white? Should I feel pride in being heterosexual? I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of who I have become through my work. It's hard for me to feel pride in simply being something by default.

I hope that this post poses this just question: What should we celebrate? What should we be proud of? Criticize a majority and join the mainstream of self-righteous. Criticize a minority and get ready to appropriate a slew of labels to describe your pathos. Is that right?

We live in a hyper-sensitive world where anyone can be offended by anyone or anything. Your offense is validated, however, only if you are in the minority. A majority victim: what's that? I doubt you will find that concept in a dictionary or in the world around us. I suppose I will have to validate myself and hope that God does so, too.

Quick Thoughts on Today's Gospel
Readings Today -- [W]hoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant.
Christ meant what he said and understood the difficulty of asking such service of us. This a tough proviso. Service equals greatness, humility is leadership. We don't hear this type of message much outside the Gospels. Part of me wants to say: Well, Lord, I don't really want greatness that much. I am not so ambitious as to desire a first spot among your followers. Yet, this is not a worldly, materialistic greatness. Christ is referring to a spiritual greatness to which we are all called. Christ calls everyone of us to a life of service, to the life of slave. The Lord's own example strengthens his mandate. He calls us to serve only once he has used his own life as a paradigm of service to others.

Surf's Up

Family time at Waikiki.