Homonym or Homophone? Or, Neither?

Today, soon after Maddy woke up from her nap I asked her, "Would you like a snack?" She responded with an action: she started to snap. I think we will begin the homonym and homophone lesson tomorrow.

One Way to Measure a Leaf

The Stumpies

On Saturday afternoon we headed out for an excursion along the Occoquan river. Occoquan Regional Park is a beautiful Fall wonderland and the leaves are changing into beautiful burnt oranges, roasting reds, and beaming yellows. While there at the river walk, we also found our namesake.

10.10.07

I am so thankful for my life. I have so much to be thankful for, so much that some will never experience, and in response to what I have been given I say, "Thank you" to God, my little family of Madge and Caleb, my parents for giving me life, my siblings for being with me from childhood until now (and again to my parents for giving me siblings), and my new family through marriage, and to such dear friends. How blessed I am. With each passing day and each passing year, I realize how blessed I am and how I should share my joys with others and show them how much I appreciate them and how much they are loved. I had a wonderful birthday on the 10th. Caleb had given me the wonderful gift of taking off the day of my birthday, the day after, and then he had that Friday off for his flex day. So, I thought, we would have some really special time as a family. I was right on the part of having special time, but there were a few others besides the three of us. On Tuesday evening, Maddy and I had stuck close to home and done a few things around here. Caleb was due back at around 7pm. Because I hadn't gone out for errands, the car was in its spot throughout the day, until I headed out around 5pm to take out trash. A few minutes before Maddy and I headed out to drop the trash in the dumpster, Maddy stood at our bedroom window and looked out saying, "Da-Da." I told her, "No, Daddy doesn't come home for a couple more hours. Then we headed outside, only to find that our car was gone. I had seen it all day sitting there, so I thought "Oh great, it's been stolen." I called Caleb immediately at work. No Answer. Then I tried his cell phone, which he answered and said that he was running errands. He had taken the early shuttle home to surprise me and picked up the car. So here Maddy really had seen Caleb out the window. Within 45 minutes, Caleb was home and I was preparing dinner. He asked if I wanted to make a bit more chicken, because he had plans for the next day. I told him I could make it later, since it was no big deal to defrost it and bake some more. Little did I know he was trying to subtly say: "Please make more. We're having company in 15 minutes." Sure enough, there was a knock at the door the eve of my birthday, and it was Caleb's day and his little sister and brother. They had driven 10 hours just to surprise me on my birthday. I was stunned, surprised, so happy. I was so touched. His little sister and Dad had to leave the day after my birthday, but Joe would stick around for a week. I got some great gifts, but they visit was amazing. That night Caleb's Dad surprised me with a crockpot (something I've been wanting to get) and brought handpicked apples so that he could make his special "Beeba Applesauce." So there he was at 9:30pm, peeling apples and starting the aromatic apple blend that would creep through our house throughout the night. The next morning I woke up to my sweet baby girl holding my face and kissing me. We went to 9am Mass and then headed down to Occoquan to this little park on the river where I opened my presents and ate homemade cupcakes. Afterwards we walked to my favorite shop in Occoquan, came home and prepared the lasagna for dinner, and then got changed to play Aussie tennis --Caleb, his Dad, and I--while Mary and Joe watched Maddy play at her favorite little park. I had a wonderful day filled with calls from family and notes from friends, cards, presents, and surrounded by the love of others. Thank you, everyone. I had a super day.

Maddy's 1st

At this point in Maddy's life: 15 months after her birth, we are still counting all of the "firsts." One of these is the fact that she is just feeling what Fall weather and seasonal changes are all about. Having been born in Beijing in the peak of summer, visited family in the Midwest in the scorcher month of August, and returned to Honolulu for the rest of her babyhood time, and then having moved to the mainland in summer, she has never felt cooler weather, i.e. anything below 70 degrees. So, here we are in Fall. She sported a jacket the other day at the soccer field and romped around with Dad and Uncle Joe. She also is enjoying her pumpkin. Welcome Fall. It is Maddy's 1st, and she is enjoying it. So are we.

Got Smoothie?

Being Childlike is so Freeing and Fun

Today on St. Therese's feast day, we will pray to God for the grace to be childlike, not childish; appreciate the gift of life and the fact that we are upon this earth (where, sometimes, the most trivial things can be made to be the greatest burdens in the world if St. Therese's Little Way is not taken into considertation); learn to better understand and grow in our spiritual lives by imitating a child's trust, vulnerability, self-less love, and innocent curiosity in truth. Life is amazing and beautiful; it is a blessing when you can sit back and let a baby teach you how to be real. St. Therese, pray for us.

Remember, Pray, Take Action

Remember that today is the Pro-Life Memorial for the 48 million unborn babies, who have been murdered by abortion since Roe vs. Wade in 1973. There are so many events that are taking place throughout this month of October, and today, October 1st, is the Supreme Court's first day in-session. Please pray that the Holy Spirit may enlighten their minds and strengthen their wills to make truly wise decisions. We were all little people, helpless and voiceless inside our Moms at one time.

Madeleines

Today Maddy and I were at St. Vinny's, where we found a shell-scallop baking tray, perfect for making Rosewater Madeleines. We are chilling the dough right now and will soon place the cookie batter into the tray and anxiously await Maddy's namesake cookies to be eaten. Mmm. Maybe we we can put Starbuck's out of business in the Madeleine cookies department after we make our first batch.

Dad, can I come to work with you?

The last couple of days, Maddy has tried to come to work with me. You'd probably call me crazy for refusing the request of someone this cute. I normally wake up at 5:15am. By now I am accustomed to the early mornings...well, as accustomed as one can be to such ungodly hours. The difficulty is getting ready without waking up the little girl. For the most part I don't have any problems. I brew some joe in the kitchen, do some exercises in the living room, and then get ready in the bathroom. I do all of this behind closed doors with the minimum amount of light.

Maybe it's because Maddy has had an unusually early bed time the last two days. Maybe it's because she has been welcoming new teeth. Maybe it's just because she loves her dad. Whatever the reason why, Maddy has been waking up with me the last two days. Yesterday, I awoke to her sitting on my head in bed. It may not sound like a great experience. But when it's your cute daughter, somehow you mind less and the act itself becomes cute. Anyhow. Today I was shaving in the bathroom and I heard her knocking on the door. There she was. I scooped her up in my arms. She was all snuggles and warmth: so wonderful to hold and hug. The best part about a breastfeeding baby is that you don't have to worry about morning breath. So even her breath was adorable. (Maybe I am just being partial as her dad. I suppose that's a possibility, too.)

It was nice to see her before I headed off to work. I just hope that she fell back asleep. Otherwise, poor Mary will have a fussy one on her hands today! She was upset that I wouldn't take her to work with me. I laugh silently to myself as I think about trying to work in my office with her roaming about: no doubt she would be pointing at everything and gibbering about all the good things in life. I left her to Mary's care and hobbled off to work.

Late last week Mary and Maddy came to visit me at work. Maddy loved all the open spaces around the DC Mall. She enjoyed the monuments and the people. Here she is, posing in front of the Jefferson Memorial. It is one of our family favorites. Mary and I would frequently go for jogs around the memorial. It's an especially beautiful area when the cherry blossoms bloom: we look forward to the springtime for that. In the meantime I am sure that we will enjoy the other seasons. After two years in Hawaii, I think that we are ready to see some seasonal variation.

From Here to Eternity

The other night Caleb and I sat down with our big mugs of hot tea and enjoyed Pan's Labyrinth. It was very good, we thought. It was thought-provoking, beautifully filmed, and a "no-wonder" why it has been nominated for 3 Academy Awards. After watching the film we started talking about a topic that we discussed several weeks ago: being in tune with God and hearing His voice. The movie has so many thought-provoking ideas about humanity and eternity, and that of being in tune with the next life by being open to and listening to God's voice now. There have been many times when I have fallen short in my prayer life; it is at those times that I am hardly aware of God's many wonders--simple and complex, because I am not in the right plane. Sometimes I find myself close to drifting into a less spiritually-inclined wavelength that the world so easily sucks us into. Its moments like those that I am thankful to be reminded by God of where I need to travel in order to reach Him, hear Him, listen to Him. To be open to God's voice in the little and big things is analogous of hearing a lion's roar, like we did at the zoo several weeks ago. The other week we were walking through the zoo and heard the lion "Roarrrr!" It was low, clear, audible, but one had to be listening for it. If I had been walking through the zoo absorbed in conversation or the sites around me, I would not have noticed the lion's deep whisper. His voice scared me when I thought,"What if I were roaming through the jungle and came upon such a confident creature? I would be completely surprised, because I would not intune with that plane on which his audible tone could be heard." Then, I began thinking how many times I am like that with God. When I am open to His will, voice, and signs, I listen to Him, and hear. He is always there, but I cannot always hear Him because I am not on the same wavelength. In Pan's Labyrinth these thoughts were evoked once more as I watched Ofelia enter another world: a world that exists, but that which not everyone can see, because not everyone desires to be a part of it. These thoughts took me to another plane: eternity. Eternity: it seems so far off, and yet it is so present. It is our final resting spot with our Creator. It is the place we are all meant to return. We are here on this earth for fleeting moments. We are sojourners, who are constantly being spoken to by God, but how often do we listen to Him, let alone hear Him? Wavelengths, planes: they stretch from here to eternity.

How Old Are You?

This is fun..

Are you really your age, younger, or old(er)? Hmm, let's see!

I'm 14 months today!

I love my peaceful life.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful Boy

Nicholas, you are 3 now. Where have three years gone? I remember the day Mommy told me that she was expecting you. I was on cloud 9 the moment I heard I was going to be your auntie and godmother. I love you. We love you, Beautiful Boy.

Is it possible

...for the Easter Bunny to arrive in September?

Beauty, Simplicity, Love, Faithfulness

Recently it seems that wherever I look everything is "pro" woman. There is so much hoop-lah about moms working outside the home and trying to mother their children simultaneously and being "able" to do it all. Sounds fishy. Anybody knows that when a person is throwing oneself into a job, task, daily duty, some other thing suffers. Cause and effect... Unfortunately, the "thing" here is really a person. Kids: they are the ones who end up suffering while the media keeps throwing out the mantra that women can do it all. Women are everything. Women. Woman. Whoa-man.

Yesterday I noticed that on the TODAY show there is a whole new hour added to the show. It seemed a bit over the top. Three women were the hosts and the show was a whole lot of loving yourself. That would be fine if everyone was loving himself...err...herself, with the knowledge that each is designed by God in His image and likeness. But, such is not the case. It is all of this looking to self for some fantastic ideas, inner strength, love, etc. But, how can one get all of this from within when it is not given to or desired to be received from Another? On this note, a very beautiful and humble woman is in my mind.* She is the Mom of an amazing son who is always giving again and again, and he never counts the cost. He loves guys and girls and doesn't place one sex over the other, because he is aware of their uniqueness. He doesn't pretend that men are the same as women, because he never intended them to be. He likes different and that's what he made them: different from one another. Thanks, Jesus. Thanks for being in charge. Thanks for your beautiful Mom, who was so humble. She could have been flashy and saying how she balanced being the mother of Royalty while running a household and always being so social with your many friends, but she was not flashy. She was faithful to her vocation and prioritized her life beautifully. May each of us learn well from her, and may all women embrace the beautiful gifts that they are given instead of finding ways to "deal" with them.
*I was reading True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis De Montfort when I began comparing how Mary's humility stuck out so beautifully in contrast with the whole "over-worked woman mentality" that is out these days and filled with a lot of misguidance and yucky pride.

When We Get Lonely for Waikiki...

we use ironing boards for surfing.

Please Pray

Please pray for Lili and Kate. They are very ill with the sickness gastroenteritis, which they contracted from a friend. Fr. Joe, heaven's new saint, please hear our prayers and intercede for them, through Christ our Lord, amen.

Our Date

It's not often that Caleb and I will go out by ourselves, without Maddy, and that is fine. But it is also fine, enjoyable and a little strange to be alone, just the two of us on a "date." That is what we did last night while our good friends watched Maddy for a few hours. I kind of went numb when our friends offered, because I thought: "What should we do?" Should we clean something up at home? Organize? Go to a movie? Grab a bite to eat? Go for a walk? Make a holy hour? The ideas were coming right and left, and finally we settled on-- due to time and driving distance-- dinner and a walk through various shops. It was enjoyable. I felt like we were dating again as we walked into Express for Men. We weren't buying anything, we were just looking, like the other couple of "daters" in the shop. We talked, and talked, and did a bit more of the former and latter. The time together wasn't a day, it wasn't a week, it was just enough to enjoy and to give more thanks to God for the gift of our marriage. We were both ready to get back to Maddy--the gift of our mutual love. How beautiful it is to have this special little girl-- a little bit of me and a little bit of Caleb--who gives us a lot of love always. It is a delight to have special time together, but it is wonderful to be a threesome when we come back together as a family. When we got home last night and walked in the door, all three of us eventually made our way to our bedroom where we tickled Maddy, who giggled hysterically and reminded us just how happy we are to be married, to have one another, and to be a family.

Today, September 4th, is my sister Kate's 29th birthday. She was born in 1978 and began her life with a difficult labor, but she was a fighter. Some things just don't change. To this day, she is still that: a fighter, a tough Randa-Ri, and a gem in our family. We love you dearly, Kate, and are so happy God chose to give you to our family. Thank you for the joys and happy, silly, and just funny times that you have shared with me. You have been a wonderful friend, sweet sister, now wife to Matt and loving Mommy to Nicky and Lili. Wow, are they lucky to have you in their lives. They are blessed. Happy birthday from us. May you be blessed with all that you need and know always how very much you are loved. Here is my song for you that I called "ours" the winter before you got married. I'll always be here for you.

Some Sweet Treats

Last Sunday we had a couple of friends over for a "dessert" evening, which was nice, relaxing, and overwhelmingly filling. Here is what we had:

Erin's Grandma's Delicious Meme's Famous Chocolate Mousse with Homemade Berry Sauce (drizzled over the mousse) and ...

St. Louis Apple Cobbler:
Mix Together
4 cups sliced apples
1/2 cups sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
Other Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 egg, well beaten
1/3 cup melted butter
1 cup sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup chopped nuts

Place apples in 10-inch round pan. Combine sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle over apples. Combine dry ingredients. Mix egg, milk and butter, add to dry ingredients and stir until smooth. Pour over apples and bake at 325 degrees for 45 minutes. Serve warm with ice cream.

All Change Is Not Progress—the Diaper-Free Movement

My PhD adviser would frequently state that “the only constant in life is change.” These words struck a chord with me. In life it’s true that everything is constantly in flux. The metaphysical definition of time fundamentally involves change. As a corollary, the fact that time passes from one day to the next, or from one nanosecond to the next, assures us that some change is taking place.

In such a context it’s interesting that our political sphere juxtaposes conservatives and progressives. It’s as if one group of people is frozen in time (namely the past) and the other is moving towards the future (progress). Unfortunately, all too frequently liberals equate change with progress. Not all change is progress. Change in a positive direction is progress. Change in a negative direction is regression. Change on a lateral scale is simply alteration.

Current affairs are chock full of examples of regression championed as progress. It’s a pity. A recent AP article entitled Growing Diaper-Free Movement Relies on Babies’ Instincts, Body Language piqued my interest. The article exhibits a group of parents who believe that “elimination communication” can enable babies to relieve themselves without the use of diapers. Environmental concerns and skin irritation phobia inspire this diaper-free movement. The article states a third reason: Others were inspired by observing the practice while traveling abroad. Hmm. Mary and I had the experience of observing the practice when we were living in Beijing. Let me tell you something: it’s not something that we liked to observe. I am all about teaching children self-control. I am pro-communication between parents and children. I like Mother Nature. And, for Pete’s sake, going to the bathroom is a part of life. BUT. But, but, butt. I don’t think that the diaper-free movement is a step forward.

On one occasion we were walking into an international mega-shopping store, Carrefour—the French version of Wal-Mart. A few yards away from us, a matron stooped to assist her year-and-a-half old grandson take a tinkle next to the front entrance to the store. On another occasion, I encountered a 12-year old boy at an ice-rink with a large hole in the crotch of his jeans. It appeared that the diaper-free movement in China extended beyond the U.S. diaper years. We were accustomed to seeing repercussions of the diaper-free throughout the city. Discretion and subtlety were absent; cleanliness and hygiene, afterthoughts. Babies (adolescents!) with self-control…umm, maybe. Yet, this life is full of trade-offs. I will take diapers and the many woes that may come. From experience and common sense I cheer for diapers and real progress. Gosh: it’s a good thing that not all change is progress.

Becoming Like a Child

I remember when I first heard a mom who ran a girls club explain the difference between childish vs. childlike, and I never forgot the difference. Had I forgotten what childlike means, Maddy has clarified that for me. Today the lessons continue in how to be childlike in my relationship with Jesus. Maddy is my teacher and I am her student everyday. She never ceases to amaze me in her innocence, trust, dependence, willingness to explore, beautiful curiosity, use of every second of every day, love for me and Caleb as her parents, and her obedience, and sponge-like ways of gathering more and more knowledge. Over the past few weeks she has just blossomed in physical and emotional milestones. She now has a trot/run down vs. just "the walk." She now responds very obediently to the word "gentle" (which we taught her when she picks up books or sets her sippy cup down on our dining table---just a couple of examples). She hears, "Go get your book," and brings two back from her book basket in front of our fireplace. She now stacks blocks and she loops donut rings on her Fisher Price ring holder. Better yet, she looks to the crucifix hanging next to the front door when she hears us ask, "Where's Jesus?" and either reaches for Christ to be brought off the wall and kissed by her sweet O-shaped mouth that hums simultaneously in excited anticipation of the kiss or will reached out with her hand wide open. Today we were at Mass and as I genuflected upon exiting the church, Maddy blew Jesus a kiss. She stared up to the altar and just stood there looking up towards Jesus' little gold home, as if to say,"I'll talk to you later. I love you, and enjoy your day. I know I will." There are so many parallels between a child and her parent and a human being with God. I love the simplicity and beauty of this parallel that God has given to us. When I see Maddy stretch out her hand to Caleb or me when she has fallen, I ask myself how often I have looked to God for help and guidance in my day and in my life. Have I utilized His grace, which is so freely given? Or, I am quickly reminded of how curious I should be about my faith, about God Himself when I look at Maddy, whom we have named "Curious Madge" in our house. She never wants to stop; I should be the same way. What a beautiful gift a child is. Everything about children is pure, innocent, and real. I thank God for the midget teacher in our house, because without her I do not think I would be really learning what it means to be childlike, not childish.

The Pitter Patter of Little Feet

Things have recently changed around here. The little feet that I used to feel inside me are now making noise down the hall. The little "baby" is getting bigger. Maddy now climbs out of bed and walks down the hall all by herself when she is all done with her nap. The time is flying by, and our little girl is growing up. I used to worry that she would fall off the bed. Now she lets herself down by flipping over and sliding off the bed, before opening the bedroom door and walking down the hall to greet me in the living room when she is all done sleeping. There are so many changes that take place, and yet I enjoy every one of them and am so happy that I have been here to see all of them. The changes remind me to enjoy the present moment, remember the sweet days of old, and look forward to a wonderful future with our little "baby."

Why Bitterness?

Over the years I have often thought about why some individuals can be so bitter and instead of handling the difficulty that they seem to allow themselves to get caught up in, it comes out on someone who is not doing anything wrong, who is being himself, who is enjoying life, loving his family, and every moment that God gives him. To be jealous(y) (which stems from pride--or lack of having a healthy pride/gratefulness in something to call one's own), of something that another has, is so empty. Why? Because the bitter and jealous person is so possessive of control, just in the wrong area: everywhere but in himself and in the things that actually count. Rudeness, mean-spirited comments, constant "fixing" of others imperfections, are so ugly, and yet for the bitter one, he thinks that he is on top of his game. He beat the other. He won, so he thinks. But has he? The aggressor leaves the situation of his monologue feeling vindicated, because he got the last grumpy word. But, it's not about the last word, or the fact that he "fixed" a mistake left by another, it is about bearing with one another in difficulty, rejoicing in the differences, and taking up the many opportunities for introspection, here and now, while we are alive and conscious of our good and bad behaviors.

Whenever I am hurt though, by others' comments, manners, etc., those are moments when I have to look more at myself and take out the weeds, any bitter actions, so that I do not cause someone hurt. Jesus must have felt so burdened by hurts; for His Father created each one of us for so much, and yet I wonder how much I, all of us, our neighbors, friends, family members, and relatives measure up to Jesus' expectations. That really makes me think, and I catch myself having fallen so many times. Yet, the key is catching ourselves, getting back up, and jumping back into Our Shepherd's loving and forgiving arms.

Making Decisions Based on Principle

Mary jokingly states that my favorite conversational comparison consists of "in theory" and "in practice." I start off talking about a principle (the "in theory" part) and how it should apply to a situation. Then I get into casuistics and how the case presents an exception to the rule (the "in practice" part). I feel like living by principle has become a reprehensible scourge in our post-modern world. Those virtues which trump all others--namely tolerance, compassion, and understanding--don't fit into the principled world-view.

It can be excruciatingly difficult to live by principles. A life devoid of principles is a life driven by a subjective, ad hoc, set of values that fundamentally alters anytime it's convenient.

Philosophy typically divides the world into three categories: being, thought, and action. Each category is fundamentally different. The United States judicial system is prosecuting those individuals whose actions go against an established law. Our laws establish what we can do and what we can't do: they don't establish what we can think and can't think. It's not the place of any government or institution to dictate our thoughts. Individual rational thought is an essential part of the human person. "Nuf said."

While thought-crimes exist in various parts of the world, I don't know of any precedents where thought-crimes have been prosecuted. Recently, however, law enforcement agencies are moving in the direction of punishing thought-crimes in the U.S. In a pluralistic country such as the United States, every opinion or world-view should possess equal value and validity. Yet, it's becoming increasingly dangerous to adopt controversial/marginal opinions. While I disagree with pedophilia in principle and practice, should law enforcement agencies restrict American citizen activities simply based on ones thoughts? As attested in this article, many think so. I disagree. A society that is truly pluralistic must in theory and in practice rank all opinions as equal. Like I was saying before, it can be tough to apply good principles to all circumstances.

(For what it's worth, I personally don't think that countries should be as pluralistic as the U.S. I think that pluralism is a good thing but within certain parameters. National constitutions should provide those healthy parameters that, by nature, will be discriminatory. For instance, insofar as the U.S. constitution mentions God, it discriminates against atheists.)

At a personal level it can also be difficult to apply principles of discipline to our kids. We have to pray for the strength to cling to our principles in all times...even when the going gets tough.

Baseball

On Friday, 8.03.07, Caleb took Maddy and me to the baseball game at the Washington Nationals' stadium. Had the Nationals been playing against any other team, I would have been pumped to go to the game for the whole baseball experience, because I love it. But, they were playing the St. Louis Cardinals. Once a Cardinals fan, always a Cardinals fan. It was fun to be cheering on my hometown team. I was a bit envious, though, of the fact that the whole team had just come from home. I miss it, and it will always be home. This was Maddy's first baseball game; her first evening for a Metro ride. She had a ball!

Take Me Out To The Ball Game, 8.03.07

More Stuff to Win!

Check out Adventures in Babywearing and you can enter to win a $25 gift certificate to Mom 4 Life! Good luck winning! Remember, 10% of all Mom4Life sales goes to the protection of unborn life by giving that money to a crisis pregnancy center.

Because

Last night it was late by the time I climbed into bed (for the second time). The first time I laid in bed, I realized that I had not made Caleb's bag lunch for the next day, and I could not sleep, because my daily work was not finished. I usually make his lunch for the next day, just before I go to bed the night before. But, last night I was slacking. I could have multi-tasked while I chatted with my Mom for thirty minutes on the phone or when I spoke to my sister Kate in Australia for an hour. Hmm, did I have enough time in our hour-long conversation? Of course, but I was just lazy. It was late when I laid in bed and asked Caleb, "Can you wake me when you get up (5am)?" With a curiosity in his voice he responded, "Why?" I couldn't just say "Because," because why would I be getting up at that time? So, I told him that I needed to make his lunch. He told me not to worry about it; he'd get it. No, I was not satisfied. So as soon as he nodded off with his miniature sidekick sprawled out beside him, I quietly crept out of bed and tiptoed down the hall before hitting the squeaky floor in the living room. Thankfully, neither Sleepy One nor Two awoke, and I was able to make lunch. "Why?" I asked myself at 11pm, as I romped through the kitchen in my pjs. Because: I love him. He never tells me that he cannot go to work because he is too tired. He says that he goes to work because he loves us. So, even if it is late, I will arise and finish my work. Then, I can go to bed knowing that I finished my tasks and have set up the day well for the one, who never counts the cost, I love so much. (Plus, it is nice to be completely tired when climbing into bed, and as any spouse and mom knows, when you get up to do "one" thing, you think of ten more, just because.)

Want to win something?

After reading my friend Sharon's blog I saw that 5 Minutes for Mom is giving away a 37" Flat-Panel LCD HDTV with help from Best Buy.

Are Nannies Really Necessary?

The other day I flicked on the TV, which is new to our home. Anyway, I was listening to some women interview a celebrity and they were "ooohing" and "ahhhing" the fact that he and his wife had no nanny for their 4 week-old baby. It was amazing to me that parenting, a very difficult yet rewarding vocation, is lifted up and praised when it is "fit in" to certain folks' lives, but questioned on other occasions when moms and dads actually have the audacity to stay home and form, mold, teach, instruct, love, and cuddle their kids. Hmmm. Double standards? I was having a conversation recently with my mom about preschool, and how one of the democratic presidential candidates, John Edwards, would like to lower the age for preschool entrance. That made me think: Where will both parents be? (At work); Where will kids be in between "preschool"? (Daycare or anywhere but with Mom and Dad); What is a parent's real objective for sending a child to preschool (Having taught preschool, I can say that what is most importantly established in those fundamental and critical early years are trust, self-awareness, interpersonal skills, all of which can be taught at home.) (I have yet to read it, but this looks like a good one: You're a Better Parent Than You Think.) After all of these thoughts, I came to the conclusion that many parents possibly do not want that time with their kids. They just may want to still keep a very independent schedule, apart from their own little children. In the end, is this really helping to create independent children? Now, who should be getting a pat on the back: parents that choose to make their children first, or parents that choose to squeeze their kids into their outside work schedule. Thoughts to ponder.

Time for Budding

As Maddy continues to teethe (she just got her 7th tooth a few days ago;it is her bottom molar, second from the back, and it broke the skin in the middle of the night), and as I continue to learn all about each tooth's approximate due date, I think back to the time when Maddy's little mouth endured many changes, which came on Holy Saturday night. After that experience, I wrote this short reflection a few days later:

Time for Rising and Budding

After having a baby and making the beautiful and dedicated decision to remain in our home so as to mold and teach our daughter, I get a taste on a daily basis of what motherhood is all about. It is a task that never ends. Motherhood is a job that lasts twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. It is a journey of happiness to watch Madeleine grow, change, and respond to our voices. It is a permanent call to potential pain—agonies as she falls, cries, and begins to make choices: leaving our home later in life to attend university or to marry, and then make a family of her own. “Welcome to life,” I tell myself. What would life be without pain? Life without growth.

Pain and growth: what are they? Gums splitting to make way for brand-new baby teeth; this is growth, this is change. Maddy’s teeth are coming through, and, oh, what pain they caused on Holy Saturday night—the eve of Christ’s resurrection. Madeleine was in such pain. Her fever was 100.6, and her tiny nose was stopped up like a canal, flooded, and ready to burst. Poor baby. She was most comforted by being close, breastfeeding, lying next to me. I was happiest that way too, just knowing that she was receiving some relief. Why was I in pain? My gums weren’t splitting, but my heart was, as I watched Maddy suffer.

What did Christ feel during his anguish? What were the emotions of sympathetic bystanders—those who loved him? Jesus knew not only that he would suffer, experience torment, and die, but that he would soon rise. His suffering was bitter. His agony was unimaginable. His resurrection was glorious. In order to rise, he had to suffer. It was excruciating to watch, though. It is horrendous to know that through my own actions, I contributed to his torture. I also know that it is by my good choices, my positive actions, and my selfless vocation as a mom— watching my baby’s pains and tending to her needs— which will give rise to my physical, emotional, and spiritual headway. This is similar to the beauty of Christ’s Resurrection.

As I laid in bed, with a warm little body next to me, clock ticking in the wee hours of Easter morn, how could I not thank God for the marvelous mystery of his own child’s resurrection, the everlasting reassurance that although there will be pain, sorrow and distress will never prevail. For a little while there may be growing pains, tooth aches, and nights with little sleep, but they will never last forever. The hope of a new day looms on the horizon. Why? Because Christ already made the ultimate sacrifice. Maddy will endure her gums cutting for the baby teeth to bud, but after that, the pain will lessen. The fundamental changes have taken place. When her permanent teeth come in, the preliminary pain will have been paid. So too has Christ paved the way for us. He has loosened the shackles that bound us to sin. We have a new opportunity to live a pure life, to share in his glorious resurrection.

Maddy’s tooth is ready to burst forth. Pop. Explode. One-by-one each tooth comes in. Sometimes with excruciating force; other times, they poke through at a slower pace. Each one, however, makes way for change. And what is change? Change is leaving one’s old lifestyle, one’s former ways—an old existence—for something, we hope, is better, holier, and more beautiful.

Madgey, You're Our Everything

I have deemed this my song for Maddy and we have danced to it quite a bit. You can listen to what Maddy and I are dancing to at our home and look at the lyrics below:

Everything

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Little Sponges

At such an early age, even in utero, babies are attracted to their parents' voices. They recognize tones, words, even stories told while they grow inside. Babies are sponges; they learn so fast and grow so quickly. To some people this may seem scary, to others, this is phenomenal. Some parents get worried about curbing their and their friends' language when their children are around. Why? I suppose that they do not want their kids to pick up bad habits, words, etc. To me, though, I see babies and kids as little catalysts that keep us on track. Instead of seeing babies as little patrol cops, I see them as little angels that help us on the straight path. If it's not good for them, it most likely isn't the best for us either (I am not talking about age-appropriate material: educational topics, hearing/seeing news material, which is sometimes violent, but just good vs. bad). The other day I was ending a conversation with someone on the phone, and I said the usual "B-bye." Lo(w) and behold, a little voice echoed below, "B-byyyyye." Maddy hears everything and mimics so much. She did it again this morning, but this time resounded my "Hi, Dad," to Caleb. If all of us are supposed to become like little children, who echo their parents' behaviors, who should we be following on a daily basis? Have we become like little children in echoing our Father's behavior?

Mimi Time

My Mom was out here this past week for Maddy's 1st birthday, and we had a very enjoyable time together. Some days filled with chilling, others setting up the apartment, ironing, organizing, doing laundry, but overall, just enjoying our time together. Maddy loved her time with Mimi as she played peek-a-boo and greeted Mimi in the mornings. She loved going into the room in the mornings to give Mimi a wake-up hello. I loved having Mom out here and realized once again that no matter how old one gets, having your Mom or Dad present eases worry, stress, and pain. I wasn't feeling good one day, and Mom was there to be "mom." I don't think one ever outgrows the feeling of comfort that a mom brings. Having both of my parents in my life makes me appreciative to God for allowing me to know them better, love them more, and take advantage of the moments I have with them. I hope that everyone who has a parent or parents is able to enjoy them or at least get to know them more and never let a moment go by without thanking them for giving you life. Thank you, Mom, for coming to visit. We love you.

July 17, 2007: Maddy's 1st Birthday

Happy Birthday, Beautiful Girl!

July 17, 2007One year has passed, and I thank God for the stage we are at, remember with joy the day you were born, and soak up every moment with you, hoping that I will never take for granted your life--a total gift to Daddy and me. We love you so, so much. You will have our constant prayers, love, support, and ears to listen. You are our treasure, our little princess, our snuggle bum.. Thank you for loving us back, for giving us the best, big squeezes, and "crunchy" kisses. You are our sweet pea. Maddy, we remember, like yesterday, the day you were born. Dad was retelling the story last night of your birth. I immediately thought of Dad's experience of going to grab lunch after your 1:25pm (Beijing time) birth. He grabbed some Chinese food, and there were a couple of girls at a salon trying to promote their shop and invite Dad to get a haircut. He wanted to yell from the top of his lungs that he didn't have time for that; he is a DAD; we just gave birth to a BABY! I remember hearing the doctor say, "You will have a baby on this next push. With that dose of encouragement, I felt like I could win an Olympic race, because I was determined to see you; you came right after that. I was so thrilled that you were in this world that I had forgotten that we had kept your boyishness or girlishness a secret, and then it clicked, and I said, "What did we have??" Dad said, "A girl!" You are that girlie, and we love you. Happy first birthday, little world traveler. You have done so much in your one year, and for some reason, I think there is a lot more to come. We are excited to take this journey with you.